Why is sitting on a wall, on a random side street in Italy, so magical?
I will share one of the greatest life-practices I ever learned. I will nickname it “vacation mindset.”
Almost 20 years ago now, I returned from a vacation in Rome and described to my personal trainer how wonderful it felt to simply walk hand-in-hand with my beloved, wandering through quiet Roman streets with absolutely nothing to do. Not only that, but I had been eating fresh pasta, tons of bread, cheese, and wine, along with all sorts of other treats, and somehow I had lost about ten pounds on the trip.
He taught me something that changed my life.
The feelings I was feeling were not located in Rome. They were not in the stones, the piazzas, or the ruins, they were inside of me, in my heart and mind. And those feelings could be intentionally cultivated at any time.
He suggested I try walking home from the gym to my apartment with the mindset of strolling Rome with my lover. To my surprise at the time, it worked. Easily. Deeply. And there has been no turning back.
I didn’t know it at the time, but this way of being would quietly shape much of what came next.
I do not think it is a coincidenceI later found myself developing a hotel, which would have put me permanently in touch with this vacation mindset. Or that we now host intentionally small, high-end retreats in Italy designed to place people directly into this state of being. Or even that we always seem to find ourselves living in places that others visit as tourists, California wine country, the Texas Hill Country, and beyond.
What I am suggesting is not phoniness or spiritual bypass. I am not saying to ignore reality or deny hardship. I am suggesting that there is a deeper feeling-life that exists within us, one that can access peace, calm, and love despite the outer environment.
Etymologically, the origins of the word vacation had far less to do with pleasure seeking and far more to do with relief from duty. In ancient Rome, vacātiō referred to exemption from obligation, even a temporary release from military service. From vacāre → vacātiō: unoccupied, exempt, released.
To me, this means learning how to be empty inside. Quieted from the incessant inner chatter that prevents presence. Empty enough to create space for what is. Some esoteric traditions call this state of being The Hollow Bone, if I understand correctly, inspired by Lakota teachings attributed to Black Elk (Oglala Lakota tradition).
This type of emptiness is the state we intentionally cultivate during Be Slow, our slow living retreat in Italy. Not through luxury as excess, but through luxury as space and reconnection. Through rhythm, shared meals, long walks, silence, beauty, and time spent inspired by people and place. The intention is never to give you something new, but to help you remember something long forgotten within.
You don’t need to be in Italy to feel this way, but sometimes stepping out of duty, even briefly, makes it easier to remember. This is the true meaning of vacation to me, and it lives within you at any moment.
If you feel called to experience this state of being in a highly curated, intentional space, you can explore more about our upcoming Be Slow Umbria program in Italy below (June 30th - July 7th, 2026).
